Year note - 2025
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I’m not even sure where to start this year. The messy in the middle squiggle definitely sums up 2025 for me. I started strong, with client work I was enjoying focused in health and co-design. I’m finishing strong, with a renewed commitment to writing and excitement about what comes next. But the middle did involve a few twists and turns that’s for sure.
In April I found myself without any work or prospects of work. I’ve had short periods like this before but it felt different this time. Lots of other freelancers seemed to be struggling and non of my usual tactics were working. This was worrying. So I began conversations about an inside IR35 role at NHS England. I have to say that these are conversations I never thought I’d be having after leaving NHS Digital in a blaze of burnt out glory in 2021.
I want to tip my hat to three people at this point, Ralph Hawkins, Rob Bridgewater and Emily Houghton. All of these lovely people were involved in facilitating my return, which did not go smoothly to begin with, but they all showed incredible kindness, patience and strong leadership as we navigated a way forward that would work for me. What I’ve learned from this is that sometimes it takes having a tough experience to get you to the point where you can set boundaries that work for you - my experience of working in the NHS has been different this time because of what I learned last time.
However, going back to an organisation that hurt me right before I turned 40 ended up having a profound effect on me and I have to admit that I broke a little. I’m so proud of how I navigated that period and what it taught me though. I took the time to feel the feelings then figure them out. That investigation led me to the two biggest highlights of my year.
Teaching in India
Highlights
In June I applied for an MA in Creative Writing at Goldsmiths. I interviewed in July and was offered a place to start in September. Throwing myself into learning something new, committing to my writing and becoming part of a new creative community has been everything I hoped it would be. I’m excited for a whole year of writing and Goldsmiths in 2026.
A close second was also something that happened fairly out of the blue in the middle of the mess. Chris Downs took a chance on me and I designed a service design course with CIID in about 4 weeks flat while planning a trip to India in the monsoon season. That week of teaching was one of the hardest and best weeks of my working life to date. And I loved India so much.
I’ve talked about the NHS already. I’m not sure it’s been a highlight as such but I am proud that I’ve been able to do it on my own terms. I’ve got colleagues and an office again. I’ve reconnected with people I worked with before and I’ve made progress on work that matters.
I continued to work in the co-design space this year and I’ve loved it. A particular highlight has been working with Joy’s longest standing client (1.5 years) the Royal Osteoporosis Society. Supporting the design of new peer support offers for under represented groups has been a real privilege and its taught me a lot about the realities of doing co-design properly.
I did more service modelling work this year and I enjoyed working at a different level. A particular highlight was working with the team at Wizzybug to bring together legal, clinical, financial and user experience considerations to help them redesign their wheelchair loan scheme.
I’m pleased that my Design Advisory offer landed well. I’ve had more repeat business this year and it’s been largely in this space.
I’ve also loved continuing my mentoring with 6 more clients this year. Some have wanted help navigating their career, others have used me as a sounding board for their service design work.
On a personal note, this was the year I turned 40 along with a lot of my friends. I loved bringing some of my favourite people together for a celebration in a beautiful cafe/restaurant under the flat I lived in when I turned 30! My partner also took me on an amazing trip to Porto to celebrate even further. It’s been a real joy celebrating this milestone with some of the favourite people in my life through garden lunches, silent garden discos and sofa dancing in Air BnB’s to Eurovision.
Celebrating my fortieth birthday
Learnings
I mentioned this in my Year in Numbers post but working inside IR35 has been a real learning curve. It’s taught me how much I value being in control of my finances even if it means having a cap on my earnings (to stay within the lower tax bracket).
I’ve worked across a number of projects this year that have fallen at the implementation hurdle and it’s been disheartening - especially when it’s involved a co-design process. It’s taught me a lot about expectation setting early, the value of transparency though a co-design process and the need for funders to fund more than just the design phase.
I feel like I’ve abandoned Joy a bit this year. I want to pick back up with maintaining my business network come January.
I tend to be a bit sporadic with professional development now I’m self employed. I do it if it feels right basically. I’m disappointed that I chose to join and invest in IMMA at exactly the wrong time. I really respect what Lili is doing with the community but it was the wrong time for me and I failed to make the most of it.
I’ve had a high failure rate with proposals this year. It’s taught me to be more discerning and ask more questions before committing the time.
I had high hopes for supporting people entering the service design industry this year. It’s so hard for people and I wanted to help where I could but CV reviews was not the right approach. I was overloaded with requests which resulted in me giving generic feedback at times.
My 2025 goals
Goals
My usual hit rate on goals is around 50% and I think I’m below that even this year. I’m disappointed that this year didn’t see me hitting the sabbatical trail. This goal certainly seems to have got further away not closer for financial reasons this year but it’s been replaced by other exciting things so I’m letting that dream go for a while. I also didn’t hit the heady heights of 2000 Substack subscribers, I didn’t offer a design placement and didn’t pitch to five conferences. But I did focus on co-design, I did launch an advisory offer and I did grow my income from mentoring. I did also start volunteering with Age UK however my lovely older person decided she didn’t need me to call her anymore and she sacked me off!
I knew, sitting down to plan 2026 over the last few days, that I would find myself coming up with goals that were more focused on writing than design. Turns out I know myself pretty well.
So, in 2026 I’m aiming to:
Complete a first draft of my memoir
Try my hand at travel writing, either as part of The Unspoken Word or via a new Substack publication.
Commission and publish guest pieces on The Unspoken Word
Create a content series from my business writing to share what I’ve learned from 4 years of freelancing as we approach Joy’s fifth birthday.
Focus my design work on co-design in healthcare and explore what it would mean to create a niche here
Grow my income from mentoring and advisory work
2026 is a year that feels exciting, full and somewhat uncertain. It’s the year I’ll become a wife. It’s the year I want to get confident with calling myself a writer. But it also continues to feel like I’m in a transition phase, straddled between two identities and two industries. I still love my design work and, being really honest, I need it to earn money. But I’m also really excited about finally doing some of the things I’ve spent decades not feeling good enough to do. There’s nothing like a spot of aging to push you towards your dreams eh.
Right, I’m off for my dinner for one.